Travels with Carly: In Search of a Passport

A travelogue of a 2019 trip to the nation's capitol in the company of the author's American standard chicken, Carly.

We have a track record of passport snafus. Why stop now?

Here's something to know about U.S. passports: even though they're issued for 10 years, they're not usable for more than 9.5 if your destination is the Schengen area.

Germany requires that your U.S. passport be valid for at least 3 months beyond your scheduled trip home. This is confirmed by the U.S. Department of State. Last weekend, a few weeks after booking flights to Germany to visit S's mom, I discovered my passport expires in 5.5 months. That shouldn't be a big deal--5.5 is greater than 3--except two different friends have recently been denied boarding on flights to Germany because their passports expired fewer than 6 months after their return flights.

I phoned the State Department, and they navigated me to the webpage that says visitors to Germany need only 3 months on their passports. I chatted online with my airline, and the agent said the rule for Germany is 3 months. Then I surfed to another State Department website that recommended 6 months passport validity for all Schengen zone countries.

So I asked myself, who do I trust more: the U.S. Department of State and my airline, or my friends who weren't allowed to board their flights?

I made an appointment at the Washington DC passport agency for this past Wednesday. The Department of State will expedite passport processing if you show up in person for an appointment, have proof you're traveling internationally within two weeks, bring all the required documents, and pay an extra 55% on top of the usual fee.

Thus began my travels with Carly.

Bleary-eyed, Carly did not expect to be at Ronald Reagan National Airport at 7am on Wednesday.

I was supposed to depart by bus at 3:20am Wednesday morning. S drove me to the closed and locked downtown bus depot at 3:00. We waited for the bus, but the bus didn't come. At 3:25 I checked my email: 90-120 minute delay. If the bus left two hours late, I would miss my passport appointment. The two other waiting passengers left. The bus still didn't come. My generous spouse took me home, cashed in some frequent flyer miles, and took me to the airport. Around the same time the bus finally showed up at the depot, Carly and I were landing in DC.

We took the Metro to L'Enfant station and went for a walk.

We found a shoe near the Hirschhorn Museum.

We walked down the Mall toward the Washington Monument, which glowed in the early morning light.

We continued east toward the Lincoln Memorial, appreciating how beautiful and calm DC is when 250,000 other people aren't wandering around with you.

At the Lincoln Memorial, Carly and I stood in silent awe, wondering how we could nonchalantly take a photo of Carly posing with Abraham without appearing disrespectful. We decided the optics wouldn't look good. Instead, I took photos of other tourists, using their cell phones--the first of an impressively large number of photos I would take of other tourists that day.

We envisioned 45's face on the statue of Abraham Lincoln. We shook our heads, dismayed that, according to a recent poll, a majority of Republicans surveyed consider the Orange Cheeto a better president than Lincoln.

From the Lincoln Memorial, we walked to the National Academy of Sciences, pausing on the way to admire Albert Einstein. We wondered what he would think of the current regime's disdain for science.

Albert Einstein Memorial

Einstein was more accessible than Lincoln.

Touched by greatness.

Carly observed that men adorned the Academy windows, but women were conspicuously absent. Likewise chickens.

Carnot, Bernard, Joule, Pasteur, Mendel and Maxwell

A proud moment:

Carly presented her paper at the National Academy of Sciences 

Then it was on to breakfast at Founding Farmers, just around the corner from the Passport Agency.

Breakfast is often awkward.

Our goal.

We stood in a line to confirm the appointment. Then we stood in a line for security. Then we stood in a line to check in, because confirming an appointment and checking in are two completely different things. Then we waited until our number was called. The lines and the waiting took well over an hour. Fortunately, the waiting area contained several relatively new-born swoon-worthy babies to admire, because newborns need passports too, and they can't get them until they're ex utero.

The passport appointment itself took under five minutes.

The agent said, "You live in North Carolina? And you came all the way to DC?!"

"Yes," I said; "We're going to Germany on the 17th and my passport expires in May."

"Oh yes," she said, "your passport needs to be valid for at least six months."

"Actually, your website says three months," I said.

"Well, you want to play it safe. You really want at least six months."

Yep.

Afterward, Carly and I walked back toward the Washington Monument, where I got a ticket to ride the elevator up to the top later in the afternoon. From afar, we saw the nest of Voldemort and Bellatrix, and we yearned for the day when Dumbledore's Army would rise again. Carly adamantly refused to be in this photo.

Side story:

Many years ago, when E was just shy of three years old, I took him to a favorite park. That day, however, he stood off to the side of the playground, contemplating the gaggle of other kids. I asked him why he wasn't playing too, and he sighed and said, "There are too many friends here."

I thought about that when Carly and I saw this gaggle of pigeons on the Mall. Too many friends here.

Our next stop was the United States Botanical Garden, where we were greeted by a Patrick Dougherty stickwork installation entitled "O Say Can You See?"

The signs encouraged touching but not climbing. They didn't say anything about alighting.

We enjoyed the silvery reflective orbs near the Garden's entrance...

...as well as the many plants inside and out.

After visiting the Garden, we took a quick walk past the Capitol Building, where legislators were either holding impeachment proceedings or obstructing impeachment proceedings, depending on which side they were on.

We crossed the street to the Capitol Reflecting Pool, which, unlike the swamp, was actually being drained. There we contemplated the "Cavalry Charge" statue at the Ulysses S. Grant Memorial. Wikipedia says the soldier getting trampled might be a self-portrait of the sculptor, Henry Shrady.

Our next stop was the National Gallery of Art East Building. We began on the roof, for obvious reasons...

Hahn/Cock by Katharina Fritsch

...and admired Calder in the mezzanine...

...before dashing back to the Washington Monument to ride the elevator to the top. While we were waiting in line for security, a grizzled park ranger told our group that NO WEAPONS ARE ALLOWED. He shared a tale of woe about a woman who thought she'd spend her time waiting in DC lines productively knitting. DON'T DO IT!--those knitting needles are weapons. He backed that up with another story: that very day, he said, someone had brought a ceramic mug to the top of the building, and they had had to send the person back down.

I was a little befuddled that they viewed ceramic mugs as weapons, so just to be on the safe side, I asked whether handmade ceramic chickens were allowed. The ranger looked puzzled, so I pulled Carly out of my tote bag. The women in line behind me, eager to see my weapon, declared "she's your spirit animal! A comfort chicken!" The ranger shrugged his shoulders and said you never could tell: it was up to the security officers to decide. Carly made it through security just fine.

Gravity holds this thang together; the grout just prevented the stones blocks from wobbling during construction.

Mosaic on the floor in front of the elevator

The Mall and the Capitol

The Jefferson Memorial

The WWII Memorial and Lincoln Memorial 

Checking out the view

The elevator glass is electrochromic. On the ride down, the glass goes clear twice, so that riders can see some of the plaques assorted cities and states sent to adorn the walls.

I was standing on the Baltimore side of the elevator.

Across the street from the Washington Monument lies the National Museum of African American History and Culture, our next stop. We spent some time admiring the architecture and thinking about Durham architect Phil Freelon, who passed away in July.

By 3:00 p.m., it was well past lunch time. We paused in the Museum's Sweet Home Cafe for a heaping bowl of mac & cheese.

When we emerged, rain was looming. We decided to spend the rest of the afternoon seeing more of the art in the East Building of the National Art Gallery.

Female artist + chicken = representation.

We admired more art by Calder...

One of these rearing horses is wire; the other is a shadow.

I like the signature.

...Jackson Pollack...

...Piet Mondrian...

and René Magritte.

La condition humaine

I was pretty excited to see La condition humaine. A lifetime ago, when I was still a music theory professor, I had on my office wall a framed poster of this framed painting of a curtain-framed painting of a window-framed scene. I might have missed an embedding or two in that description.

Joining the lower level of the East and West buildings is a dazzling light diplay, experienced via moving walkway.

By the time I arrived at the welcome cat in the West building, I was indoor-arted out.

The light, when I stepped outside, was gorgeous. I snapped a photo of the glowing Capitol, and headed west to take a picture of the Washington Monument illuminated by the purple blue blush pink orange glowing sky--when it started to sleet fingernail sized snowballs. The mini snowballs gradually transitioned to pouring rain, so I headed back to L'Enfant and took the Metro back to the airport.

Today, approximately 48 hours after my appointment at the Washington Passport Agency, this arrived at my door:

I don't know if this expedition counts as circumventing a potential passport snafu, or was, itself, Passport Snafu 2019--but I did enjoy spending a day in DC. Naechster Halt: Muenchen Flughafen.